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Wednesday, May 07, 2008
NO GAMES SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND LANGHORNE, PA – As of press time, no games will be played at the Waskland Plateau this Saturday, May 10th. The following Saturday, May 17th, is Alleigh's birthday. Games the weekend of 5/24 have been cancelled due to a previous committment. League games will commence to be played on SUNDAY AND MONDAY May 25 and 26!!! Thank you for your patience and well wishes.
Sincerely,
Management
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Angry Silverbacks GM Kev Shaw Issues a Formal Letter of Apology
To all LWA players, GM's, board members, & Langley:
First I would like to offer my sincere apology for my actions over the weekend. The Angry Silverbacks, much like our beloved Phillies, haven't won an opening day contest since the late 90's. I was in a very competitive mood, and just wanted to get a win for the club. I lost my cool in a moment of sheer heat, when I felt like a solid pitching performance was being squeezed by a Jew umpire who wasn't paying attention to the game at a crucial moment. I would like to apologize whole-heartedly to Levi, a nice sort who meant no harm to the S-Backs. There is a school of thought that says he was a little stoned while umpiring, but that's Wiffleball, and I shouldn't have given him such a hard time.
I would like to apologize directly to the ball bucket, whom I kicked in a moment of rage when I botched an easy ground ball to end the inning. The wheels were fully off at that point, and I showed a blatant disrespect to the bucket...who does nothing but good for the league, holding balls for us like a fluffer girl.
I would also like to apologize to the Seahorses, whom I despise with every god damned ounce of my being (i weigh 235lbs). I hate you guys. But you do have a Tom Lavanga on the team, who I have never and will never have a bad word to say about. To league founder Anthony J. Waskie III and his cohort Guzz (two z's) - I have a bitter hatred burning a hole in my heart for you two gentlemen on the field of play, but off the field I do respect you, and only hope for your demise half of the time. I wish you two pie-shiners nothing but success (yeah right) and great seasons (die!) in years to come.
In closing, I had planned a formal protest of the game mentioned above, but have since reconsidered. There will be plenty more games to play, and I hope that in future games that umpires will pay attention, and only are allowed two hits from the joint before a game is played. Out of respect for the umpire I verbally assaulted, I have donated a crisp $10 bill to some Jew foundation who's name I don't care to remember. I refuse to be a pussy boy who protests games and shit. We lost, I am a sucky pitcher who is prone to a blow up inning at all times, and I botched a solid effort from my club by letting the awful call get the best of me.
I hope that I am not vilified for my uncool actions this weekend, but if I am, at least I kind of apologized. I want the league to know that I will be taking anger management classes, and will return to the league a gentler, happier tyke, who wants nothing but fun times for everyone. I will never again argue a call, because it is fruitless and does nothing but make people cringe when I kick ball buckets and throw balls into the back neighbor's yard.
I am even thinking of changing the franchise name to "Respectful Silverbacks" which is more fan friendly and nice.
I have said my peace, and I hope we can all move forward from the weekend's unfortunate events.
Play Ball.
Kevin Shaw
Monday, March 10, 2008
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Devastating Weather to Push Back Opening Day???
LANGHORNE, PA – Frigid temperatures, incessant downpours, and the occasional snowfall have all played havoc with the patchy grounds of the Waskland Plateau and LWA President Andy Waskie says Opening Day could be in jeopardy.
In the past 72 hours, the weather has pummeled the mud-strewn field with a complex variety of disasters. The early part of weekend witnessed flood-level rains blasting the open sores on the field like Frank Morelli does to a young intern at the company Christmas party. Langley, the LWA’s grumpy mascot, was even partially submerged during a late evening piss.
“The torrential downpour we suffered was devastating,” Waskie said in a press release. “It’s pretty much fucked.”
The tragedy of ill-conceived timing with Opening Day only a few weeks away was made worse by what happened next. Frigid temperatures dropped in late Saturday night, freezing the muddy waters at the pitcher’s mound, outfield stoop, and home plate into a harden, crusty molten lava of mud and pure shit. The temperatures dipped so much that LWA co-owner and 2008 Hall of Fame honoree Kristen Waskie refused to take Langley out for a brief walk.
“It’s too fucking cold,” Kristen spit. “You do it.”
After a brief inspection this morning, Andy was slightly more optimistic.
“It’s still kinda fucked.”
LWA NOTES: Shady Woodsmen GM Nick Waskie has been ignoring his brother for several days now. When asked of his opinion of the situation Andy simply shrugged his shoulders in an upward direction… Semi-Pro is a quote-machine coming… In the coming weeks, the LWA will be constructing several new items to jazz up the game and the field. Of them include a “Hit It Here” sign which will reward the recipient with an as of yet unnamed prize.
Monday, March 03, 2008
GREG DAVIS TO PLAY ON OPENING DAY
Croydon, PA - The phone call was a short one. It was not even supposed to be about wiffleball. This call was made to Silverbacks GM Kevin Shaw while he was taking his daily lunch break, doing his usual 500 crunches after a 5 mile run. The phone rang. It was Greg Davis. He wanted to talk about Fantasy Basketball, but the sly GM quickly changed the subject to one of utmost importance to his club. "You gotta come out and play on opening day" exclaimed the physically fit Shaw.
"Fuck that, they gotta make it unlimited walks, bro...I ain't gonna sit there and watch dudes throw GARBAGE" Davis retorted.
Shaw had heard this song and dance before, and it was time to stop the fun and games, and make with the hardball.
"Dude, just come out, give us opening day, and I guarantee you enjoy it... if not, you never have to play again. Besides, there's new rules limiting the garbage pitcher, and making him throw hittable balls. Believe me, you'll like it."
After a long pause that was probably induced by an extra large inhale of the stickiest icky, Davis chippered up. "Alright, I'll play on opening day."
That was it, no strings attached, no special requirements were asked for. Many will wonder, what triggered this change of heart? Many more will wonder, will he stick to his word and show up?
"I won't leave him alone until he shows up. you can rest assured that I will call him every god damned day the week prior to opening day to make sure he's there. Now, I have to find JT. Who the FUCK DOESN'T HAVE A GOD DAMNED CELL PHONE???? IT'S 2009 FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SICK NONSEN - " At this point I hung up the phone. I didn't need to listen to the ramblings of this genetically perfect individual any longer. I got my scoop.
SILVERBACKS 2009 PREVIEW
The Silverbacks look to be a formidable squad this year, especially with full attendance on opening day. The ace of the staff, Phil Shipos, has retired from rugby to concentrate on wiff full time. When asked for comment, Phil said "Vince is a fag." This had nothing to do with my question, but I chuckled heartily.
JT is a wild card, a man with no cell phone. Cut off from the outside world, no one know when he'll show up. But they do know this - when he does show, he bring a nasty passion for the game, and a nice Korman Suited polo.
Frank Morelli will be in his usual April form, but at some point will leave the game to compete in many amateur body building competitions.
Shawn Slivinski has signed on for at least a weekend per month, which is great news for fans of candy. He can also play. The GM, Shaw himself looks to improve upon his Comeback Player of the Year, Golden Hands Award & GM of the Year form of last season.
"I want to trade for Bill Shaw, I do it every year, and I see no reason this won't happen... other than Redding is an ace of the year candidate."
Lastly, Tim Churchray WILL FUCK YOU UP. Go ahead, fucking TRY IT. Pussy.
*Johnny Lombo was intentionally omitted from the Silverbacks Preview. We honestly don't have much to say on him.
Story written by former Mets GM Steve Phillips
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Stats Missing from Waskie House after LWA House Party
LANGHORNE, PA… Beers guzzled, wine downed, stats stolen? As heinous as it sounds, it’s true. During the highly successful LWA House Party this past Saturday somebody entered the office of LWA President/CEO Andy Waskie and pilfered many game scorecards from a variety of seasons.
Although Waskie didn’t realize the game scorecards were missing until late last night, he expressed some suspicion over possible suspects based on their actions during the House Party.
“It’s very strange,” Waskie told reporters this morning. “But it’s not like I didn’t have copies on my hard drive.”
Missing were various scorecards from pre-LWA years involving Nick Waskie, Jon Redding, and Johnny Lombo’s initial foray into Wiffleball. Also taken were LWA scorecards that depicted some of the most lopsided games in League history.
“Wow, that’s crazy,” a sarcastic Nick Waskie said when questioned. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
Andy believes the culprit to be one of the following individuals:
Nick Waskie
“Nick has the most to gain by hiding the scorecards,” Andy explained. “The majority of the missing stats were of games where he was a young 16, 17 year old, getting shelled every weekend. I think he definitely wants to get into the Hall of Fame and by hiding stats maybe he thinks his bad numbers will be forgotten. Haha.”
Jon Redding
“I know I was really loaded on a nice Belgian wheat ale on Saturday and Redding wasn’t at the party,” Waskie reminisced. “But I swear I saw that hair-covered goliath at one point enter through the back door and appear briefly. I am fairly certain I saw him there.”
Andrew Laba
“This little joker has something up his sleeve,” Waskie pined. “I can remember various points through the night him trying to distract me with random facts involving Presidents and wars and shit. Makes me wonder.”
Turmoil
“I’m fairly confident this upstanding abstract concept had nothing to do with the missing stats,” Andy confidently wafted.
The LWA has decided to form an investigation unit to determine what happened to the stats and bring the culprit to justice. Members of this unit will be named by LWA Commissioner Cade Feeney and his cabinet. It is also suspected that a reward will be offered for any information leading to the capture of the “Stats Stealer.”
“Whoever did this…” Andy gasped as he walked away, “… will surely pay!”
LWA NOTES: Poisonous Seahorses #1 pick Brian “Guzz” Dickerson was almost traded to the Shady Woodsmen on Saturday. The deal would have sent Guzz, JE, and Buddafet to the Woodsmen for Jay Oseredzuk, Gary Repko, Andrew Laba and a crisp variety of draft picks… The LWA Charity Poker Tournament has been temporarily cancelled due to alternate family plans… Phil Shipos remains an asshole.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline) LANGHORNE, PA – 271 N. Hawthorne Ave., home to the Langhorne Wiffleball Association was burnt to the ground after a raucous night of violence and food fights. Now… this hasn’t happened yet but it is highly likely to if you attend the LWA House Party this Saturday, February 23.
When you put many combustible elements together in an unpredictable setting… common law dictates that destruction is almost certain to happen. If that is indeed the case… what could possibly happen when you mix the pure combustion that is LWA players Andy Waskie, Nick Waskie, Vince Shipos, Brian Hauber, Kev Shaw, etc. with the unpredictable setting of a small Langhorne home drenched in alcohol and sex??? The answer can either be one of two things… unmatched devastation or the purest form of magic known to mankind.
“I think I may spontaneously combust, jackass.” LWA GM Nick Waskie baked. “I’m still pissed at Andy for his lame actions and at Cade for basically being a jackass.”
The LWA House Party was scheduled as a way to help build excitement for the league. When you put players in a party setting, with alcohol and cocaine, true feelings are bound to emerge. You can also expect someone to get raped and a tiger to be let loose.
“I heard a tiger may be let loose,” LWA Free Agent Jimmy K said. “That’s just fucked up.”
Several noted LWA players are expected to appear including the aforementioned Vince Shipos, LWA Commissioner Cade Feeney and maybe even a rare sighting of a Hall of Famer or two. Noted rock band Pearl Jam was contacted about playing 3 sets but upon hearing that their asking price was $1.5 million per set, LWA President Andy Waskie giggled, “You guys aren’t even that good anymore.”
True, Pearl Jam may not be what they used to be, but the LWA is a searing hot comet heading directly for earth. Attendance has risen in each of the past few years and profits are almost out of the negative.
“I usually end up paying about $500 to $600 towards the league every year but this year I’ve only spent $150 so far.” Waskie said. “But, oh fuck, I wasn’t calculating all the hot dogs Frank Morelli eats.”
LWA Notes: Spring Training games are expected to begin this weekend and continue up through Opening Day on April 5… Upon learning that Nick Waskie wasn’t suspended for quitting in the middle of a game, former Winter Warlocks GM Brian “Guzz” Dickerson expressed disappointment. “He should have ran the gauntlet.” He still may have to… Derek Sollosi lured a drunk Andy Waskie to the Windsor Bar on Saturday night under the guise that he had a major announcement regarding the LWA. What was the announcement you ask? Absolutely nothing. Once an acehole… always an acehole.
Turmoil Pens an Open Reply to Nick Waskie
Dear Old Friend,
It makes me giddy with joy to see that my everlasting grip has befallen you once again. I work very hard to ensure the ultimate destruction of you and your franchise, the Shady Woodsmen. I often find myself leaving my other freelance jobs in Iraq, Mozambique, and the streets of West Philly to come torment you because you are such an easy target.
I hope you felt my cold presence infiltrate your bones last weekend during Winter Training. Yes, Nicholas, I was inside you tormenting your mind like a young Heath Ledger. I didn’t even have to reach all that deep into your soul to cause your mind to wander. The rage inside you was strong, like a young Luke Skywalker. Although this time, Kaz, Yoda can’t help you.
My plan to bring destruction to you and your franchise is in its early phase. Upcoming phases will see me plant evidence on teammates dismissing their abilities, me hiding in bushes scaring you during at bats, and general trickery. I am an old school flirt as well so I plan on getting “closer” to many of your women. I’m a true workhorse when it comes to sex.
I have already begun to infiltrate the ranks of the Shady Woodsmen. Yes, Nicholas, I have a spy among your ranks. He is fully committed to our plan of upheaval and betrayal, like a young Shawn Michaels. His ultimate reveal will be blasted live via satellite sometime this summer, once his job his done. What is his job you may ask… the complete and total annihilation of the Shady Woodsmen!
I have petitioned the league for leniency in your suspension case. How can I fully be effective at corrupting your mind when you’re not on the playing field? I hope the LWA Government lets your anger boil and fester like a nice pasta so that when I grasp your heart, it slithers from my cold, icy hand onto the muddy ground of the Waskland Plateau. Not until then, have I succeeded.
That is all for now but Nick, you must know I am always watching, always waiting, always chasing you down. I look forward to your next outburst.
Love,
Turmoil
Monday, February 04, 2008
Winter Ball Turns Ugly When Nick Quits
LANGHORNE, PA… A winter ball game between LWA players turned ugly today when Nick Waskie, GM of the Shady Woodsmen franchise, pissed over a ball/strike call, then struck out and finally then quit.
The incident occurred this afternoon during the 4th Inning of a 2nd game played amongst friends. Although the seriousness of the games were ridiculously high, Nick’s actions were deemed “silly” and “woman-like” by all those in attendance.
LWA President and CEO Andy Waskie has declared that slow pitches that hit the board and aren’t offered at will be strikes this season. This is coming on the heels of pitchers being limited in the amount of fastballs they can throw. If pitchers have to give in, then hitters have to give a little back as well.
“Someone had to be the example case,” Andy told bystanders afterwards. “It just happened to be Fred, oops I mean Nick.”
After the controversial strike call, Nick was obviously furious even though it was a meaningless, non-league, Wiffleball game being played in early February. After the next pitch from Gary Repko missed badly, Nick declared, “Is that strike two?”
A few pitches later, Nick struck out swinging and Andy uttered the simple comedic phrase, “Later.” This is promptly the moment when Nick urinated himself.
With leak running down his pants, Nick cried and quit the meaningless, non-league Wiffleball game being played in early February. He stormed off the field like a baby does when you won’t give her a Kit Kat.
“He should give a public apology,” Sandtraps Assistant GM Brian Hauber said. “He’s a GM, he’s supposed to be the face of the league.”
When asked about a possible suspension, Commissioner Cade Feeney was mum on the subject.
“I’ll wait until I hear Nick’s side of the story,” Feeney told reporters. “But quitting in the middle of a game, whether it counts or not, is unacceptable.”
Commissioner Feeney promised reporters he’d have a decision made sometime this week.
LWA NOTES: Future LWA Hall of Famer Derek Sollosi will definitely be returning to league action at some point this season. Hopefully the Bottlerockets suit up for one more game… Of the difficulty in judging a slow pitch hitting the board for a strike, LWA Owner Andy Waskie said, “Let’s swing the bats before walks get completely taken out. That’s the next step.” He’s promised to address this tomorrow in his semi-weekly column… Nick Waskie becomes the 3rd player to quit in the middle of a game during the LWA era. Rumors persist he may quit the league entirely but if he doesn’t, expect to see a harsher suspension due to the fact he’s a GM. Shawn Slivinski has been banned from eating candy by GM Kev Shaw. “He simply is too hyper.”
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Blockbuster Trade Announced; Fred Kerner Signed Then Dealt
LANGHORNE, PA… In the first major blockbuster trade of 2008, The Poisonous Seahorses have sent Fred Kerner to the Shady Woodsmen for Chris Schmitt and other considerations.
The complex deal, which was talked about since later December, finally was agreed to this evening after Fred Kerner passed a physical. Chris Schmitt failed his after he tested positive for marijuana but the Seahorses signed off on the deal anyway. Gm Andy Waskie’s team will also receive a protected draft pick in 2009 (3rd round) and the Woodsmen’s Waiver Priority - which is now #2 (behind Angry Silverbacks). The Seahorses had to use the #1 Waiver Priority to sign Kerner who was mired among the free agents.
“We’re extremely excited about this deal,” a crafty Nick Waskie spoke. “Fred brings us a talented player who hopefully, won’t quit this season.”
The incident Nick mentioned occurred on a sun-drenched afternoon when Fred disagreed with a call and quit amid an important league game. He was promptly suspended by LWA Commissioner Cade Feeney for 20 Games for his actions but simply never returned to the LWA. The deal came about after Fred Kerner expressed an interest in returning to the league.
“I don’t know if we plan on honoring his suspension,” Commissioner Feeney said via text message. “But if I had my way, I’m not quite sure what I’d do.”
What this means to the Woodsmen on paper is easy. They have acquired a talented athlete with a general passion for the game. His offense will provide a spark in a stagnant lineup. On the flip side however, several Woodsmen players have been outspoken against the move.
“What if a game’s tied 4-4 in the 7th and he disagrees with a call,” Woodsmen player Levi asked. “I mean, will he quit and force Nick to put me in the lineup?”
One player, off the record, has already asked for a trade (Cade). If internal problems persist, could this be the opening Turmoil needed to get back inside Nick Waskie’s heart?
“I don’t want him anywhere near me,” Nick hiccupped. “I’m begging him.”
The Seahorses look to have made out in the deal. Not only have they acquired a talented player in Chris Schmitt, but they’re in good position with the 2nd Pick of the current Free Agents and an extra Draft Pick in 2009. The pick is protected so no matter what happens in the league in 2009, Seahorses are guaranteed the selection.
“We didn’t want to give away Kerner,” Andy told the media. “And the Seahorses love Schmitt’s playing style, love for the game, and the fact he smokes bowls.”
LWA NOTES: The Seahorses also aren’t finished. They are in the process of putting in a Waiver Claim on either one of two players. More on this later… The oldest man to ever play Wiffleball, Mike Shields, has returned to the area. He’s been taking spinning classes every day so he’ll probably have a stroke… Frank Morelli looks great. He’s down 15 pounds and reminds many of a younger John Link… The LWA endorses Pedro Feliz.
Friday, January 25, 2008
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
LWA House Party Erupts in Violence, Laughter, Controversy, and Food (Disclaimer: This is Only a Possible Headline)
Shady Woodsmen GM Nick Waskie Pens A Letter to Turmoil
To Turmoil,
For many years you have chased me and hunted me down. I hate the feeling of looking over my shoulder every 5 seconds. This letter is a formal message to ask you… no beg you to please leave the Woodsmen and I alone. These many years or torture have made my fragile mind and body get warped and twisted because of your relentless pursuit of me.
This year's (‘08) Shady Woodsmen have a great attitude and a general commitment to winning! When a team is committed to win, turmoil should be nowhere near them, but being ever elusive to the other franchises feeding on their misgivings.
There are many other opportunities for you, turmoil, to consider. The other franchises are laughing as you chase one man for years and years to only forget about said teams. They think they are smarter than you, like a nice Albert Einstein at the Special Olympics and you’re the Special Olympics! They think you have lost your touch, your desire to torment and your outright hatred. I plead to you to change your ways… and leave my poor soul alone to rest!
There have been many times where you have had your fun against my squad and me. I just want to bury the hatchet so to speak. I offer a TRUCE! I need the safety of piece of mind. Since I was very little, you have followed me and laughed at me. I formally announce my conceedement to you. I no longer wish to argue with you, or try to outwit, outplay or outlast you.
I thank you for your time and hope you accept this letter with kind thoughts and warm hugs.
Shady Woodsmen GM
Nick Waskie
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
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Bobby Teen Contacts LWA; Nobody Cares
Highly touted but utterly disappointing prospect Bobby "Teenager" Thornton has contacted the league once again to update his playing status. In an e-mail received this week, Teen discusses his oft-injured ankle, his addiction to drugs, and his general lack of interest in Wiffleball. Here is an excerpt from that e-mail:
"Bobby "Teen" Thornton was close to his first LWA game last year when he annihilated his left ankle. The injury occurred during a fluke at bat in Hulmeville at the Days Annual Softball Tournament. Alot of fans commented on the injury, some calling it hustle, some stupidity, some on showing off cause his ex- girlfriend was in attendance, some cause the game was being taped, some cause he slid into first base. Either way, the kid was down and out. He rehabbed hard the rest of the summer into the fall into the winter. Then New years Eve he decided to turn into Dancing with the Stars and tweaked his ankle while trying to do an MC Hammer move. Not the standard MC Hammer move where you run in place and pump your arms in and out but the Hammer move where you run side to side at warp speed. However the doctors say he is a go for Opening Day. He also vowels to play this year or he will announce his retirement. I believe the last we heard he was a free agent."
Whether Bobby lives up to his promise is most likely doubtful, however, when surveyed regarding the situation, LWA GM's all repeated the same phrase...
"What a true waste."
More on this story as it becomes available.
LWA NOTES: LWA Legend Mike Shields has returned from wherever he was at. He vanished for 4 weeks over the Christmas holiday. Friends and family simply chalked it up to "old age." ... The LWA House Party has been rescheduled from February 2nd to February 9th...
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Winter Training Begins with No-Hitter; Nick Grumpy
LANGHORNE, PA… Amidst the seasonal chill yesterday afternoon, several die-hard LWA Players participated in the 1st game ever played in January, a game marred by longtime player Nick Waskie’s overall grumpy attitude.
Brian “Guzz” Dickerson and his Poisonous Seahorses GM Andy Waskie began their off-season training program early in the day with a pitching and hitting session dominated by Andy’s new pitches.
“His curveball is nasty,” Guzz told reporters after the session. “I only struck out one time though, but it’s still nasty.”
Although Andy promised it was actually 2 times that he struck out his teammate, the duo seems to be on the same page.
“Guzz is gonna win 15 games on the hill this year,” Andy stated. “He has a real nice riser and a changeup that just hovers near the plate like Nick does at a Chinese Buffet.”
Speaking of Nick Waskie, the Shady Woodsmen GM was in a sour mood during the game that followed the Seahorse’s training session. Rumors were rampant that the grumpy man-child was having girl issues. Several on the scene said that Nick was caught in the hook-like talons of a female friend… a desolate place of despair and wet dreams.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nick frumped.
“When he says he isn’t interested in a girl, that always means he is,” friend Brian Hauber noted. “Dude lies like a dead polar bear.”
Whether relationship problems were the cause of Nick’s sour mood, we may never know. But others will point it could have possibly been his struggles against the Seahorses in the Winter Training game that followed. The not-so-jolly green giant went 0-3 with 2 strikeouts versus Guzz and Andy.
“Whatever, I’m gonna strike out a lot, I don’t care.” Nick mumbled under his breath. “I just swing.”
The Seahorses, alternating innings pitched, threw 5 No-Hit innings en route to a 4-0 victory. But many insist that the bigger story was Dagobah Sandtraps GM Jon Redding actually throwing a scoreless inning of relief.
“I felt I had great stuff today,” Redding screeched. “I’m gonna be real good this season.”
“Haaaaaaaaaa!” Andy replied when told of Redding’s comments.
LWA NOTES: Kev Shaw was extremely disappointed he missed the games yesterday. Kev has been training hard in a new gym he installed in his home. He’s quit smoking as well. No, not weed… Shawn “Buddafet” Williams has simply stopped taking care of his body… A recent surge in female grumbling has been occurring. It seems several women want to joint the LWA. Of this request, LWA Commissioner Cade Feeney chuckled when replying “Sure, whatever.”… Bill Shaw has been officially granted Cyborg status by his doctor. This means Bill’s health insurance costs will be cut in half because half of his body doesn’t need the coverage. The Cyborg part of him will automatically regenerate if an injury occurs.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
